What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
