Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
