I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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