I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
