ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
