She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
