I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you had me at cake vodka
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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