I can feel you judging me through the phone.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
