just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
