so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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