She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
why is half of my head shaved?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
