he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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