I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
