No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
