I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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