My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize