My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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