You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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