how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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