How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
