oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
