I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
