So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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