Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
