I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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