i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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