Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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