C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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