Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im holly from the hills drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
