my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize