There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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