so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
