God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
