i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
