yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
