Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
