I will die if light touches me.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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