am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
