i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
