you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
