if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
