Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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