There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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