what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
