The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
