she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
