I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
be right there i have to get my cape
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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