The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
