Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
50% drunk capacity currently
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize