Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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