He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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