There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
