I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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