According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
