He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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