Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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