Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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