Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
