I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
