Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The air was thick with penises
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize