my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
