I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
