So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
