you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
